Update

So, I had a whole post all written out a few days after I wrote the last post...but the computer ate it. I was so mad, that I just gave up. Then, when I went to re-write it..all the stuff I wrote was sort of unimportant. Then, just when I had some really good things to share, the bottom fell out..and it's taken me this long to claw my way out again.

Anyway, my news WAS that I was pregnant. Finally. We had been TTC for 6 months, and I was getting really anxious. Unfortunately, at 7 weeks, I lost the baby. I can't say it was unexpected though. I just never really felt "right" from the beginning. It was hard to pinpoint what felt different. Then, looking back, I almost knew I was going to have a m/c. Weird, right? Last time I was pg, and this time too, one of my first symptoms is my nose gets stuffed up. Unfortunately for me, it stays that way the whole pregnancy. Well, with this past pregnancy, a few days before I had the m/c, by nose just felt better. It was really my first sign. Weird, but true!

I'm ok though. I'm definitely sad, but I know it just wasn't meant to be. It will happen. I know it CAN happen...it's just a matter of it being right.

Moving on...

My baby turns 2 (TWO??!!) next Tuesday. I cannot believe it. My big baby!!! Everyone asks me if the time has flown by, or not. It's weird. It's like, I can't believe he can possibly be 2 already. That time has FLOWN by...but on the flip side, I feel like we have had him forever. I can't really remember life before him. We were going to have a party for him, but have decided against it. He's two. He's not going to know, and it will turn out to just be a party for us and our friends. Once he knows what is going on, he can definitely have a birthday party. But before then, we'll just celebrate with family. I almost like it better that way.

All my other news is pretty boring. We have been travelling a lot to various weddings, visiting family, etc. We are headed out this week to Florida to visit family. I'm really excited for the beach, and hopefully E likes it too. Also, it will be really nice to get away from all that is going on here. Have a real vacation.

I'll definitely try to post once I get back!!

I can finally breathe.....

WHOOOOOSH...... (that was mean taking and letting out a huge breath.) A sigh of relief. I can finally breathe. I feel like I have been holding my breath for 3 or so months. My brother, who I love dearly, has finally gone and gotten himself hitched. I mentioned in a previous post that I made all the programs for the wedding. It's over. Thank god. I made programs, place cards, thank you notes (two sets!), table numbers, chair signs (soo cute. I will post a picture soon!), shower invitations, bachelorette party invitations.... I am spent.

I worried about getting all that stuff done. E was supposed to be a ring bearer (he's not even two yet...gah!!). He was pretty miserable all weekend. He is getting 4 (FOUR!) teeth. His eye teeth...and his hands were in his poor sore mouth constantly. Poor E. He is shy. He isn't used to people in his face...and here we were, with 80 some people wanting to hold him, talk to him, play with him, take his picture....and he was tired..and his teeth hurt. It wasn't a good day for the poor ring bearer. But, we made it through.

This post is really all over the place. I am just so glad that they wedding is over. I am glad that the trip is over. We loved Key West...but I would never go back with a child. It didn't really think it was THAT kid friendly. I would probably go back, just never with kids. Kevin and I drank...a lot...of fruity drinks. My stomach still hurts. But, I got to wear pretty dresses, and fun shoes, and lay at the pool, and get my nails done.

Then, we finally got back into town...and we had to leave again. For another wedding. Thank god I had nothing to do with this one. Ethan's tired of weddings. He's tired of going out of town. He just wants to sleep in his crib and go to the pool! We have another wedding at the end of June. We aren't bringing E. (Thank god!). We have another wedding on September. We are bringing E (yikes!).

Because of all these weddings, we don't get to have a family vacation this year. While it's fun to go to all these weddings. See people that I don't see often..it's not the same as having a family vacation.

TTC is still going. It was promising last month when I was 10 days late. 10 days! I know!! But, suddenly AF showed up....in full force. On to this month. I'll let you know.

I'm tired. I just want to sleep.

I tried to post a picture, but blogger kept putting it on the top of the post. I don't want it on the top!!! Maybe next time....

My son

There are some days I look at my son in awe and think, I created him. My husband and I created him. I cannot believe that there was a time before him! I cannot imagine my life without him, and don't want to imagine my life without him.

Since we have been TTC again, I catch myself looking at my son and thinking about his future siblings. Will they look like him? Will they be easygoing like him? Will they be the total opposite of him? Will there be more boys? Or maybe girls? Will they get along?

I love this child more than I ever imagined. When I look at him sleeping, or when he comes to give me a huge hug and kiss my eyes well up. Everyone always says that you cannot imagine the love for your children, and I agree. You cannot fathom that. It's a love that is immediate, but it also grows. Every day it grows more and more.

My neighbors just had a baby boy on Wed. I haven't been over to see him yet, but it has made me think of Ethan a lot. I just feel like I "know" how she is feeling right now. I don't "know" but I can guess that she is feeling exhausted, but totally exhilarated. I imagine her, like me, trying to figure out his cries, figure out a routine, figure out him.

I really didn't know it would be this hard to TTC another child. I was on BC with Ethan, and it just happened, and we dealt with it. We honestly thought that it would be sooo easy the second time. How could it not be? But, it's not. It is now going on 5 months. 5 months!! I know, to many of you, that is not long at all. I understand that. But to me, it feels like forever. I want another baby. I have the baby fever...bad. Really, I'm just dying to know what this next baby will be like. Will it be a boy or girl? Will it be like it's big brother? Time will tell.....

But...I love my son.

Crazy times....

Things have been so so so freaking crazy. I feel like I haven't had a minute to just relax at home for so long!

I'll try to summarize. Well, I mentioned in a previous post that I made invitations for my SIL shower...they went out, and were loved by all. (I promise to post pics soon!) Well, that blessing can also be a curse! My future SIL loved them so much, she begged me to make her programs as well. So, while I love that she liked them so much, they really took up a lot of time to make....anyway, I felt like I couldn't say No to her. Her family is being so horrible throughout this entire wedding planning process, that I really didn't want to stress her out even more. (Her family is an entire other post....) So I said yes, thinking "how hard can a program be?" Well, apparently, pretty hard. She doesn't want just any program...she wants these http://www.custom-programs.com/fanprogram.htm programs. So, I have to cut each individual fan blade. Do you know how freaking time consuming that is going to be? But, I really want to do it right, since she really wants it. So....fan programs...here I come!

I went out of town last weekend for my BFF's wedding in Texas. I drove. By myself. For 9 hours. I'm exhausted and I missed my boys. I especially missed the baby boy. I hate leaving him...as much as I like the break...I hate leaving him.

DH leaves on Wednesday to go out of town for my brothers bachelor party. He doesn't get back until Sat. Sunday is Easter!!

Next Friday, I leave to go to my future SIL shower...and don't get back until Monday too. My future SIL's sister, the MOH, is really hard to deal with. Again, it's that whole family thing. Basically, she is really driving me nuts with this whole shower planning stuff. I'm ready for that to be over.

Silver lining....April is blissfully uneventful....so far!

Ethan went in last week to the ENT to have his ears checked out. The ENT basically said he needed tubes put in, like, yesterday. He really wanted to get them in as soon as possible, but Ethan's ears were too infected to put the tubes in. So, he is on a course of antibiotics, and is going next Wednesday to get them in. I know it's a pretty routine surgery...but, my BABY is getting surgery!!! The ENT said he had something like 10 minutes free to he would schedule him for Wed. Apparently, the surgery only takes like 5 minutes. I really need this doctor to take his time and do it right!!!!! Not just do it. You know? I'm not worried about it. I know it will help...but I can't help but have a nagging feeling that my child is having surgery. Pray that everything goes as smoothly as it should!

hmmm...what else? It's so hard to catch up when it's been so long!

this and that...

So, I know I am a bad blogger. It's ok. I have come to terms with it. Have you guys???

Normally I say that not much has been going on...but really, I have been crazy busy. Work is kicking my butt. I still don't like my job, but since it is tax season (I work in Accounting), we are super busy. As much as I hate work, I love overtime!

Also, during this super busy time, I took on a separate project. Why? I don't know... My brother is getting married in May, and we are throwing my future SIL a bridal shower. For some reason, I offered to make the invitations. Little did I know, I would have to make like 75 of them. And I didn't decide to just print something out...I am cutting and gluing paper, attaching ribbon, using vellum....soooo cute, but really time consuming too. Plus, I found out that she wants me to put a little insert in some of the invitations inviting those girls to the bachelorette party...so I have to make those to match the invitations. And then, I decided it would be cute to make matching Thank You notes to give to my SIL to use after the shower. I haven't even started on those, because they don't have to be done until March, but having the task on my list is a little daunting. Once I get a picture, I will post it for you guys. I am proud on how they have turned out....so far!

I took Ethan for his 18 month appointment yesterday. Good news and bad news. Good news is, that he seems to be developing right on schedule. A litle behind in speech, but not enough to be alarmed. It seems that boys develop verbal skills a little slower than girls. However, he did fail his hearing screen. The pedi. didn't seem overly concerned, he thinks it is just because there is fluid in his ears...but we have to go back in 6 weeks to see if the fluid is gone. If it isn't gone, they we have to take him to an ENT and possibly get tubes put in his ears. I just hate the waiting game of 6 weeks. I would rather take him and get the tubes put it (if, in fact he needs them) so his ears can clear up and he can start hearing better, which in turn will help him start talking more. I hate the thought of having to put him under in order to put the tubes in...but I just want him to feel better.

March is going to be crazy for us. The first weekend in March, I have a bridal shower to go to, the second weekend, DH will be out of town at my brothers bachelor party, the third weekend, I will be out of town at my friends wedding, and the last weekend, I will also be out of town for another shower.....lots of trips, but also...lots of money on travel expenses. Good think I am getting overtime!!! April slows down a little, but then May comes!! May is when my brother is getting married, and they are getting married in Key West. I am so excited to get away with my whole family for a few days, and going to Key West is a HUGE bonus!!!

So, I guess I need to get back to work. Back to the grindstone!! blahhhhh......

Annnddd...I'm back.....

To work, that is.

Say it with me folks....booooooooooooo!!

I am so sad to be back at work. I just had almost two weeks...two glorious weeks....at home...with my baby...and daytime TV!!!....but mostly with my baby!

I am soo ready to be a SAHM. And to think it is just a year or so off, makes me very excited.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that we are officially TTC #2. Scary thought, but exciting nonetheless. I just hate the idea of TTC. I really want #2...but I hate trying, and waiting, and wondering..... I really know I have no room to complain. Some of you ladies have been doing it for years....but let me tell you...I am all about instant gratification. And if I could have the gestation period of a dog.....I'd be all over it. Yes, I just tried to say I wanted to be like a dog. Hmmm...weird. But, dogs have the gestation period of like 8 weeks! SOOO much better than 40!

So anyway, we have started. This month we decided to try something new. We have a boy and love him to death...and this is probably going to sound sooo lame...but we had the hardest time picking out a boy name. Seriously, we didn't really truly decide until 2 days before he was born...and I don't "love" it. I LOVE him...and his name because it is his....but...hopefully you know what I mean! Anyway, we have had our girls name picked out since before we got married. So, we want to use it!!! So, we decided for just this month, to try the Shettles method. For you who might not know..it is supposedly a method where you can choose the sex of your baby based on when you ovulate. So, we tried..and I am not feeling very optimistic....but, we'll see. We decided to just try this month. If it doesn't work...we'll just get back to regular TTC. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!!

Booo....I don't want to be at work!!!

Christmas was good....busy...but good. Ladies...I got Tupperware. Yes...I said it. And let me just say, I am soooo excited about it!! New Tupperware. Clean Tupperware!!! Ohh..now I must make lots of food, so I have leftovers!!!

More on my Christmas in the next post....but for now....I must get back to work.

BOOOOOOO!!!!!

Christmas is coming...the goose is getting fat!

OK, so maybe the goose isn't getting fat, but guess who is!!! This girl!! Seriously. So, I decided all I want for Christmas is a membership to the gym. Seriously, it's the gift that keeps giving! They just built a new YMCA close by, so that is my first choice. We'll see!!

So....Christmas is coming! I took last Wednesday off work and did ALL of my Christmas shopping. There are still a few things here and there that I need to pick up, but for the most part...done and wrapped!

Initially we were going to get Ethan too much stuff. I mean, he is 16 months old. He's not going to remember much of it, he's not going to really "unwrap" the presents. BUT...I got to Toys R Us and just couldn't help myself. Really, I didn't go overboard, but I bought him some new stuff. I am SO excited! I really want to give it to him TODAY!! He really really needs some new toys to play with too. Can't wait!!

Hmm...what else has been going on since the last time I posted? It's been like over a month (I know, I know!!!). Kevin and I decided we are really going to start TTC next month. The last two months we haven't been TTC, but we have been "not preventing." Really, we haven't been trying to hard. We are both so exhausted, and the holidays are coming, money is tight (when isn't it though!?), and I feel fat! Not a good recipe for wanting to do the deed!

The writers strike is making me sad. I love watching TV. I actually love watching reality TV, but some of the new shows look sooo stupid. The Hills is done tonight for the season (so sad!!) and most of the other good ones are almost done too. I really really miss The Office too. (Seriously...how sad is my life that I am talking about TV shows not being on??!!) Ah well.

I will try to update more and post some pictures this month. Seriously, I promise!!

Everyone have a safe and happy holiday season. Enjoy the new babies, pregnancies, jobs, etc!